Not Sold on Cells

Posted: February 19, 2011 in Lifestyle, Run, Training
Tags: , ,
  • Long Run (click to see stats & route)
  • 18.5k (1:35:30)
  • Avg. Heart Rate = 153 bpm
  • Max. Heart Rate = 168 bpm
  • Avg. Pace = 5:09 /km
  • Max. Pace = 4:16 /km
  • Calories = 1775
  • Temp = -2º (-16º wind chill)

Let me just put it out there:  cell phones are for sissies.  There.  I said it.

The road that goes on forever (Killman Rd.)…into the wind no less.

As I start off headlong into an approaching snow storm, I reflect on the fact that I may just be the only person left on God’s green Earth that still doesn’t own a cell phone.  Call me old fashioned, call me simple, call me stubborn, call me stupid, call me whatever…just don’t call me.

A brief respite from the wind and snow along Center Rd.

This is all stemming from the fact that I have been bombarded lately by people who are absolutely astonished that I don’t carry a cell phone with me during my long workouts, you know, in case of those annoying “what if’s”. Personally, I can’t see why you would ever want to.  Chew on that for a moment.

A barren vineyard along Canboro Rd.

I understand everybody’s initial concern, of course.  What if my tire blows in the middle of nowhere, or what if I should turn over on my ankle while trail running through the Short Hills?  What if something happens to me out on a deserted country road during one of my runs? What if I get lost?  What if I’m trying to meet up with someone?  What if I’m attacked by a horde of marauding flesh-eating zombies?    What if…what if…what if… I get it.  Really, I do.My answer is always the same:  I will suck it up and walk, limp, or crawl back to civilization, or at least somewhere that would be able to provide me with basic assistance – duh.  Funny enough, the same very thing I have done for the past 38 years now, long before the advent of personal cell phones…and, yet, somehow, I still managed to survive.  Miraculous, I know.

Barn along Killman Rd.

What I don’t understand is why anyone would really want to bring their cell phone with them.  First, however, let’s get one thing straight: I totally support cell phones for, say, seniors, pregnant women, and perhaps injured or disabled people.  But for anyone who’s serious, why would you want to invite a whole world of distraction into your workout?  Personally, I like the ‘me time’.  Of course, there are many times that it totally sucks (as it did today while attacking along the uphill stretch of Canboro Road in Fonthill) and I’d prefer to pack it in altogether and have somebody come pick me up to take me home for hugs and cookies, but there’s a certain accountability that goes along with the realization that, ‘oh yeah, nobody knows where I am’.  So come hell or high water, I am totally self-reliant on getting myself  back again so I may as well ‘grit it out and get back at it, cupcake’.  The hugs and cookies will have to wait.

Random farm machinery along Metler Rd.

Truthfully, with all the technological gadgets and gizmos that come part and parcel with today’s advanced cell phones, I would be at a loss to use it anyway even if I did have one.  Shit, I can barely reset the time on my microwave at home, or even my Garmin 305 for that matter.  What would I do with a cell phone?

Not exactly the ideal lunch, but well deserved nonetheless…

Most iPhones and Blackberries now have standard features that would make Batman cream in his body armor but, me, I’d be struggling to figure out how to simply get a dial tone.  I could be lost or injured and Emergency parametics would just find my lifeless body days later along the side of the road with my frozen arm outstretched in a futile effort to find a signal.  Not a glamorous way to shuffle off this mortal coil if you ask me…

  1. Jan says:

    I’m not averse to following you, BY CAR, if you’d share that eggplant with me….?

  2. You crack me up. You must still be rocking a pager though?

  3. Well, I don’t have a cell phone, so you are in good company. I hike a lot in the woods, take the bus, do all kinds of stuff where a cell would be useful, but the simple fact is they are way to farking expensive and yeah, I don’t want every Tom, Dick, & Harry I know calling me whenever the fuck they feel like it.

    Great pix, BTW. And yes, that is a totally well-deserved lunch.

  4. Carolyn: Nope. No pager, no cell, no nothing. I’m your classic Anti-Renaissance Man.

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