Tightwad Triathlete Tip #2

Posted: April 4, 2011 in Financial
Tags: ,

This was my last weekend as a “free man” as I see it as this week has been solely about recovering from last weeks race and simply ease back into a regular workout schedule again.  Nothing too strenuous, mind you; my favorite kind of workout actually.  Beginning tomorrow it’s back to the grind, but as of today, it’s been a whole week of observing the ‘ol Brussel Sprout Philosophy really…lovely.  I went for an easy run in the morning on Saturday and enjoyed the fresh Spring-like air wafting across the bare skeleton-like vines in the local vineyards of Niagara-on-the-Lake.  I enjoyed a nice Masters Swim workout this morning, played some squash and just generally got caught up on all my ‘To Do’ errands…including grocery shopping.

It angers me that eating healthy these days is so bloody expensive.  You practically need to be Daddy Warbucks, or at least holding down an Executive position at some Fortune 500 company just to afford to be able to eat relatively well.  Sure, there are deals to be found if you look around and there is that whole ‘support local farmers’ thing to consider, but generally it will cost you more for fresh fruits and veggies than it will for bags of Oreo’s and boxes of Kraft macaroni & cheese.  Where’s the justice in that?  How is it that a bottle of filtered water is more expensive than a can of Red Bull?  Isn’t my body made of water?  Why am I paying an arm and a leg for it then?  So, needless to say, I’m always looking for opportunities to cut my costs and save money.

I think I speak for most people that by ‘saving money’ we mean to worry about the pennies, or the ‘extras’…and nowhere this is more important than at the check out aisle at your local Supermarket.  I don’t know about you, but with all the calories I burn each week I could easily eat myself out of house and home if I didn’t also take certain precautionary measures.  That’s why I’ve learned how to take advantage of the whole DYI concept of self-checkout aisles at the Supermarkets.  Seriously, these self checkout aisles are the best thing to happen to stingy triathletes since Penaten Baby’s Cream (You’ll have to do your own Google search why).

The other important transition area...

Know and get creative with your self checkout aisle machines and become one with the product codes.  With a little clever manipulation and devious ingenuity you can save yourself some pretty big bucks by checking out your own groceries.  I’m not advocating theft or shoplifting, of course, but it sure helps a cheap and hungry triathlete to the finish line.  Besides, I’m not ripping off grocery stores and sticking it to the Man so much as I’m just pre-initiating my own discounts that will no doubt be named in next weeks Penny Saver anyway.

I know for example that product code 409678 will charge me for inexpensive broccoli heads instead of my organic mangos (409668). I have also learned that code 355548 will ring in the green onions on sale instead of my imported Dragonfruit.  White rice…hulled pistachios…what’s the difference?  And the best part is, if you ever get caught or questioned by the lone over-worked minimum wage attendant on duty, you have the ‘ol “whoops-a-daisy” excuse to fall back on:  “Oh, my goodness!  Did I ring in my fresh organic arugula as old mescaline mix?  My bad…” I figure I’m pushing 40 years old, anyway, so why not start taking advantage of the ‘Old’ senile card now?  I know…I am should be ashamed of myself.

I actually was ashamed for a while but, fortunately, the guilt successfully faded way with each saved penny as easy as a lingering calf cramp.  I now treat the grocery checkout-to-car-trunk transition with every bit of seriousness as I do my swim-bike transition.  In the self checkouts of our local Superstore, I am Simon Whitfield.  Similarly, I may not be able to workout a 15% gratuity in my head without first taking off my socks but at Bulk Barn I’m Albert-freakin-Einstein and I work on my self-checkout cost-cutting like I work on my 10k splits.

  1. Carolyn H. says:

    I was laughing so loud my husband just asked me, ‘what the hell is so funny?’

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