Life in the Fast Lane

Posted: May 18, 2011 in Bike
Tags: , , ,

Climbing the Niagara Escarpment on your bike (never mind on foot) is a total bitch but, fortunately, what goes up must also eventually come down and in this case, down also means fast…very fast.  Believe me, lugging this chubby frame up those long steep inclines on a bike is no party and I’m no Alberto Contador.  It is also worth mentioning here quickly though that it is significantly easier than it was at this time last year, but it still sucks.  However, there is also this incredible scientific principle known as inertia that enables me to hit some pretty impressive speeds when cycling downhill.  God definitely had the fat man in mind when he devised this law from classical physics!

“I feel the need…”

I have this one spot along one of my bike routes that I particularly love where I hit the top of the Escarpment by Brock University and then begin a steep ½ kilometer decent to the bottom where the neatly paved road smoothly opens up into a nice, long straight away just begging to be attacked.  And attack it I do; in my big gear no less.  From the moment I round that last corner coming down Brock Hill along Glenridge Ave., I am Mark Cavendish and I’m already seriously moving; life is blurring by at light speed.  The feeling is absolutely exhilarating.

The “goal” when I do this – apart from the sheer thrill of it – is to sprint to the next stop light approximately another kilometer away (if I’m lucky it’s a Green light).  St. Catharines is good in that it has lots of new bike lanes and here along this particular stretch of road I have an entire lane to myself that rides on like glass.  So it’s not infrequent that I will pass by cars, trucks, and buses and I relish the look of surprise in passenger’s faces as a fat guy in leotard blows by them at Mach 3.  It’s usually my last big ‘hurrah’ on my rides before I need to begin merging back into the regular city traffic all safe and sound like.

This weekends sprint, though, played out a bit differently.  On Saturday, you see, this particular spot was also the location of a crafty police officer and his radar gun looking to nab early morning motorists similarly enjoying their commute.  It’s the perfect blind spot to spring a Speed Trap really.  The first I was even aware of his presence, however, was when he pulled his cruiser alongside me just after I had passed a Prius like it wasn’t moving and sounded his siren for me to pull over.

Damn it!

In the end the officer was very nice and almost joking about it.  He had clocked me going 78.3 km/h in a 50 km/h zone and gaining speed.  Oops.  Any how, he decided to not issue me the ticket but made the point of showing me what my awesome careless need for speed might have cost me otherwise:

The trophy, err, ticket.

He proceeded to give me a half-hearted speech about bicycle safety (all to which I nodded apologetically, like I had just learned some great important lesson), looked Daisy (my bike) over approvingly, shook his head at me one last time and with a smile made his way back to the car.

Oh, did I learn anything?  Yeah.  Totally.  I learned that Prius drivers are sissies and can’t handle their breakaways any better than if they were handling a riding mower.  Winning.

  1. Jeff C says:



  2. Carolyn H. says:

    This is freaking hilarious. Pulled over on a bike. Smookin’

  3. Just wait until I bust out the Cervelo on the weekend. 😉

  4. Aquaman says:

    This has got to be one of my favourite posts from you. 78.3 and gaining? That’s impressive…

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