Stop me if you think you’ve heard this one before (Part 5)

Posted: July 19, 2015 in Bike, In Transition

Every cyclist, at some point I assume, will experience the grossness of eventually coming across roadkill.  Consider it an occupational hazard; where there is pavement, there are dead and smooshed things.

As cyclist, we learn then to keep our eyes open for these things and steer well clear of them as we would potholes, cracks in the pavement, random debris, pedestrians, idiot drivers, or anything else that might present itself as a an immediate hazard to our well-being.  Usually, when it comes to roadkill in particular we learn to spot the sights:  that rancid smell and a trail of blood and guts leading up to the ultimate carcass splayed across the tarmac.  Needless to say, we hold our breath as best we can and steer around it.

Living and training in the rural countryside roadkill is about as commonplace as, say, horseshit, of which, there is a lot.  Believe me.  I’ve seen everything from entire deer carcasses to cats to possums to squirrels to birds and just about everything in you could possibly imagine in the evolutionary chain of indigenous fauna.

So when I saw the upcoming sides of this smeared red goo in the roadway ahead of me today:


I immediately started “evasive action”.

Getting a little closer I thought to myself:  “hey, where is that telltale smell of dead thing cooking in the middle of the road”? 

Nada.  Nothing.

Then I thought:  “what the fuck is that”?

I mean, it looked like roadkill.  It was all red and gooey like some poor creature had been turned inside out but, still, it was…unusual.

I got a bit closer:


Hmm, that doesn’t look or smell like roadkill at all.

In fact, it smells rather…delicious.

Sure enough, it was not roadkill at all but a pile of red licorice lumped in the middle of Dominion Rd.  And not just any pile of red licorice, but an ENORMOUS pile of red licorice.

3The fuck?

So one has to ask themselves, how exactly  did a huge pile of licorice come to be lying in the middle of the road?


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s