The Enormous Elephant Run

Posted: October 19, 2015 in Run
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I’ve mentioned before that sometimes you run for distance while other times you run for speed, hills, and, so I’ve heard anyway, you even run for fun – although this “fun” thing still tends to elude me.  Shit, sometimes you even run for survival (click HERE).  But, occasionally, there are those others rare times that you run for the sole purpose of making a total and complete ass of yourself like I did this morning when I agreed to run 10 kilometers in an elephant suit.

Yes, you read that correctly:

…in an elephant suit.

Okay, actually, we were running in support of a pretty good cause, The David Sheldrick Wildlife Trust, which works to protect wild elephants and rescue orphaned baby elephants, giving them a second chance at a life in the wild.  Did you know that an elephant is illegally poached every 15 minutes or something ridiculous like that?  Awful, right?

But, c’mon, seriously!  How cute is this?


Just try and say ‘No’  to that widdle winkily bundle-wundle of infinite cuteness.

Not this tough guy!

Anyway, the long and short of it is that when the Coach, for whom this is an important cause, messaged me last month to ask me if I’d be interested in running with her while wearing an elephant suit I was all in…hands down.

No questions asked.

I mean, seriously, if I’m going to drop 60-70 bucks on a race anyway, it might as well go towards supporting a good cause and then be able to do it on my own terms.  Making a total spectacle of myself was just the icing on the cake.  Forget the dry-wicking shirt that I’m likely never going to wear anyway, it may as well be a full elephant costume which might just come in handy later on down the road.

You never know do you?  Someday it might just be convenient and handy to just happen to have an elephant costume hanging in your closet.

Just sayin’…

The whole premise of the “Enormous Elephant Virtual Run” is that once entered, you will receive your elephant costume in the mail and then be asked to run either 5k or 10k in it sometime between October 1st and October 31st. What the fuck. I was looking for a new winter running outfit anyway so I registered right away. And I will admit, when it did arrive I was pretty damn excited.


What has two thumbs, one truck and is damn excited to make an ass of himself?

What has two thumbs, two tusks, one trunk and is pretty damn excited to make an ass of himself?

Shit, I might never take this thing off.

Upon agreeing and registering, the Coach created our own ‘Enormous Elephant Run – Niagara Area ‘ Facebook page so it was definitely carved in stone with this past Saturday being our official “Go” date.  We met at Starbucks on 4th Avenue at 9:00am in our costumes (and for the record, it is pretty easy to spot friends in an already busy parking lot when they also happen to be wearing elephant costumes) and ready to stampede our way down Martindale Rd., or so for 5k and then back again (click HERE).

Our Niagara Herd

Our Niagara Herd

The reception we received was pretty damn funny with people either honking their horns, waving or just flashing us that surprised “what the fuck is that?”  look that people get when they haven’t had their first coffee of the morning yet and they stumble upon three people running along the road in elephant costumes.  I’m surprised that someone didn’t actually drive off the road honestly.  Primarily, I think people were pretty amused for the most part.

And we're off....

And we’re off….

And so we ran for an hour or so, waved at passing motorists, acknowledged catcalls and threw out the hig-5’s to other morning runners along the way; not to mention the odd “Pfft.  Nice jacket”  as they passed by because, well, when a guy who is wearing an elephant costume chooses to mock your choice of running attire, well, that’s some funny shit right?  So fun was definitely had by all.  And, shit, if a baby orphan elephant manages to have an easier time in this life as a result, well, that’s pretty awesome as well.

Elephant Selfie

Elephant Selfie

So if anyone is still interested to acknowledge my complete buffoonery by making a small donation to my online fundraising page in support of this cause, they can please click HERE  to do so.

I thank you in advance.


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