Debunking the Myth of “Naked Training”

Posted: March 26, 2016 in Equipment, In Transition
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Now, before I go any further with this post, when I refer to “naked training”, I am not referring to some weird and perverted nudist variety of swimming, biking and running in ones birthday suit.  And Lord knows that when it comes to this  body, that would certainly be a grizzly sight.  No, what I’m really referring to is the working out without  the benefit of a technological gadget with which to keep track of your workout.

I know, I know: “Say it isn’t so, Terry!”

But, yes, some crazy bastards actually think this is a good thing but I’ll get to that shortly.

It all happened innocently enough.  I was napping downstairs in front of the boob tube when the wifey decided she’s going to install some shelves in the kitchen so – as is prone to happen during impromptu DYI sessions – out comes the hammer and before you know it, my nap is interrupted by a total cacophony of banging and hammering.

So it’s so long nap time, hello pool!

However, in my haste to get the sweet fuck out of there, I forgot my beloved Garmin Swim.  In fact, I was half way to the pool when I glanced down at my wrist and realized it was bare.

Fuck!

Now, I have to be honest here, I had a good mind to pull a u-ey right then and there in the middle of Highway 3 and high tail it home in order to fetch it, but then the other side of my brain chimed in and said, “fuck it, it’s not important”, so I just continued on.

How bad could it be?

Well, it sucked.

I felt totally naked – hence the title.

See?

I said I’d get around to explaining it.

Anyway, some will try to rationalize that science will say that there’s actual value in flying solo sometimes without your gadgets and instead, learning to sense your intensity and training capacity.  These purists will claim that these gadgets disconnect them from the special moments that are often hidden during exercise.

Umm, “hidden moments”?

Hidden moments, like that magic moment where I get distracted during one of my runs, maybe the tops of some trees I was passing where blowing majestically in the breeze, whatever, and I ended up traipsing through a huge pile of dog shit in the middle of the road?  Yeah.  Magical.   Or how about that special moment where I tried to pee on the bike (click HERE) and ended up pissing all over myself.  In these cases, let’s just say that I prefer being “connected”.  The implication here is that by unplugging you are working out more for the “joy” of working out than for any other intended purpose.  And while I will confess to enjoying working out, I don’t think I necessarily workout for the joy alone.  Besides, if there is any joy to be found I’d like to revel in it afterwards by reviews the stats.

Others will suggest that training with the bare minimum of equipment liberates them, physically and emotionally, and frees them up for even better performance.

But, umm, how would they really know?  I mean, you can brag about how awesome a workout was but without the data to back it up, it’s just a grossly exaggerated tale of awesomeness.  The kind of story that fishermen will tell one another one too many cocktails.

And as far as being “free for a better performance” is concerned, well, I know that when I have me some kick ass tunes blaring in my ears I’m focused 100% on my performance.  In fact, I don’t notice anything else but my performance.  Hell, I have an entire blog dedicated to it (click HERE).  So if there’s some backing data to also verify that performance as provided through my Garmin 910XT, well, all the better if you ask me.

So, to me, these fitness hippies are just assuming the whole “if a tree falls in the forest” philosophy of training, except in my case today it’s “if I’m doing laps in the pool and I have no Garmin to track them, did they really happen?”  Anyway, the whole point I guess is that they rationalize the whole concept of naked training that it is somehow “healthier” to every once and a while leave the technology at home and simply go work out for, hell, shits n’ giggles I guess.

And to these technological naysayers I say:

Now, I admit, I’m not necessarily a complete gadget freak nor am I huge lover of technology.  In fact, I’m pretty sure that these devices are able to do what they do solely based on some sort of witchcraft voodoo or other, but that doesn’t mean I also haven’t learned to love the technology that I do have.

That’s right!

I like my gadgets and I am complete data whore and I don’t care who knows it.  Let’s just say that I like to see the end results at the end of my workout to validate all my blood, sweat and tears.  How far did I go?  How fast did I go?  What was my average pace?  How many calories did I burn?  These are important fucking questions.  Oh, and hey, nothing will give me a boner quicker than a good post-workout bar graph, let me tell you.

C’mon, look at this:

Data1

That shit is legit!

Now look at this:

Data2

Doesn’t have quite the same allure does it?

Fuck no!

Totally awesome-light.

So call me a hypocrite, I couldn’t give a shit.  But while your judgement hangs over me like the Eye of Sauron, what else is there really to say?

I missed my Garmin Swim today.

Deal with it.

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Comments
  1. Gary! says:

    2014 Ironman championships…………..winner……..Sebastian Kienle….. no bike computer, no watch……..one with his body! You should try it sometimes ha ha

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