Aquafuck?

Posted: May 6, 2016 in Lifestyle
Tags: , ,

Quick! 

What’s the first thing that comes to your mind when you think of “Aquafit”?

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How about this?

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Yeah.

Me too.

In fact, prior to Wednesday, I’ve only ever participated in one other Aquafit class before and that was years and years ago and at the time I was as high as a kite.  So much so, that I pretty much just floated around the deep end doing my own thing for about 45 minutes until I noticed that everybody else had left.

I’m not proud of it, but there you go.

Anyway, the other night I had another go at this “Aquafit” thing and, truthfully, it didn’t go much better.

Allow me to paint you the tale.

We had decided earlier this month that in lieu of HRH  keeping up with her weekly swimming lessons that she and Kelly would participate together in something active every week.  Nothing intense or crazy, mind you, but something that definitely requires more effort and calorie burn than watching YouTube videos on an iPad.  And, seriously, if surfing videos and playing video games were an Olympic event, HRH  would be the new Jesse Owens.

Anyway, the plan was hatched this week that the girls would participate in an Aquafit class together and even though I had completed two other prescribed workouts that day I agreed to join them.

I’ve seen the grannies going at it during my evening swim workouts and it sure looked easy enough.

What the hell.

A quick check with Dr. Google revealed that Aquafit can be a beneficial workout to improve performance in other high-impact activities such as running.  Thanks to the buoyancy of water, you can strengthen your muscles and improve your cardiovascular fitness without actually subjecting your body to additional wear and tear. 

Awesome! 

Furthermore, Aquafit can help you balance out muscle groups that may have become uneven through repetitive actions (ie. running, cycling, etc.).  I definitely have this issue and is ultimately why I’m so focused right now on trying to even out these imbalances I’ve created through weekly functional strength and plyometric workouts.   Working out in water provides equal resistance through your full range of motion, a phenomenon known as ‘double concentric muscle action‘  so, yeah, maybe there’s something to this whole Aquafit thing.

Suddenly, I was beginning to view Aquafit in a very different light:

Most importantly, it would be fun do something active and healthy together as a family.

And that’s cool too, right?

Besides, how hard can it really be?

So, anyway, my idea was to venture to the gym about an hour in advance to complete a challenging 60 minute plyometric routine and then I would join the girls in the pool for the Aquafit class as my “warm down”.

Good idea, right?

Ha.

The first five minutes or so were easy enough alright, but as the class started pick up momentum into the workout I realized that, shit, this is damn difficult!  My body absolutely rebelled against me in the water refusing to do even the simplest of movements that the grannies over on the opposite side of the pool were making look easy.

The fuck?

The instructor lead us through a series of moves with odd sounding names like ‘crossovers’, ‘chainsaw’s, etc.  All of which, everyone – including Kelly and HRH – seemed to accomplish gracefully without much effort at all.  they were cool, calm and collected…like they were performing some sort of aquatic ballet.

Me?

I looked like a retarded porpoise splashing around for sardines.

Even pedaling my legs underwater was difficult.  Sure I do it over hundreds of kilometers a week on my bike – millions of revolutions in total I’m sure – but in the water, no so much.

And pedaling backwards?

Impossible.

But here’s the thing, after thousands and thousands of meters spent in the pool doing my drills and perfecting my ability to minimize resistance in the pool and thereby maximize my ability to efficiently move my body through it, suddenly, I was being asked to do exactly the opposite; feel that resistance and work against it.

And my body didn’t like it – at all.  It was confused…stymied…betrayed even.

It was as if my whole body was giving this to my brain:

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I’m sure I looked like a monkey trying to hump a football out there.

So, yeah, this Aquafit thing…not so easy.

So while the girls still plan to keep up with it going forward and I definitely applaud them, I think I’ll stick with something a little less stressful and demanding like, say, bull fighting or pankration.

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